Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Linda Eaves & My Goodie Basket

This is my first interactive post! Read the column on the left & play the short videos on the right.
I am testing out Youtube's new "Private/Unlisted" video setting. LOL

So, I keep a basket of items to return to the store, next to my front door. This basket is comically referred to as my "Return Basket," but is in fact my "Goodie Basket." My friends can always look forward to leaving with random loot, because I never actually return anything to stores. In fact, everyone from plumbers to air conditioning repair men have benefitted from my "Return Basket"; everyone, that is, except me... until now! This weekend, my guests were instead greeted by a basket that looked like this...

Much to their chagrin, everything was returned... well almost everything... I didn't return that horrid Gillette Fusion ProGlide. Even though the lady told me over the phone I could. I don't know, I just felt weird walking in there with a razor I already used! It's been in the bathtub with me; it's seen my boobs! Anyway, as a side note: If you can find one, the Gillette Mach 3 Power--it's the green one--which I have owned since 2005, is truly what's up. That dreadful Gillette Fusion is NOT!

Anyway with my returns, I scored a cool $110... and these are my receipts to prove it. These are all Walmart receipts, but I folded over the address section because I live in rural Florida, and I don't want to run into any of you there... you've seen my boobs! LOL Anyway, as a side note: most of Florida is rural as hell. Those of you who expect to see Mickey Mouse and Voluptuous, Will Smith-type, Miami Senoritas everywhere, will be sorely surprised when you come here and meet us "Real Ones!"

Anyway, if you aren't certain, there are in fact 5 ways to tell if you live in country-ass, rural Florida...

You have HomeDepot, Lowes & TractorSupply, but no Gaps
Your "next-door" neighbor lives a half a mile away.
You have 5 BBQ Restaurants but no Chinese Restaurants.
Your neighbor has 5 cars and only 1 of them runs.
Your backyard looks like this...

Now you Twitterers see why I'm always whining about spiders. Yes, the peace and tranquility of rural Florida totally rocks... until that peace is shattered by prehistoric, Tyrannosaurus Rex, hairy, overweight, 8-legged beasts, bred in the Amazonian Rain Forest you call a backyard!

So what was my inspiration to make myself richer? Well, as you guys know, I have been listening to Attract Money In Abundance Subliminal Messages, and I've been getting this strong urge to at least calculate up how much money I just pretty much throw away. I justify my "Goodie Basket" with, "oh, but I'm giving stuff away..." In reality, it is an act of not valuing yourself and your own needs.

So I sent out a little tweet asking if anyone actually returned things to stores. And of course, an up-and-coming teacher, Ms. Perfect... err... Ms. Linda Eaves, answered. She recommended that I put my receipts in my car and return all that stuff.

So, I decided to take her advice. I called ahead of time to warn them I had a basket full of items and receipts. They laughed and told me to bring it in. Thanks to Ms. Linda Eaves' wisdom & encouragement, I'm $110 richer today... well a few Miami Male Review Strippers are... just kidding! Anyway, everyone check her out and support Youtube-grown teachers. She's 146 lbs lighter and a fabulous teacher specializing in... well... everything!!! And from puppies, to karaoke, to home painting, she welcomes you to join in and enjoy her exciting life journey. Don't miss her new Series "52 Ways To Be Your Lover!" :)